Over the course of a 10-hour video conversation, we shared all sorts of things, including ADHD (she believes we like to set fires!). I felt we had a lot in common and I could learn from her perspective. She had lived some hard experiences that piqued my interest. She was fascinating, intelligent, and insightful. I recently had a pre-date call with a very tightly strung feminist activist with a freight train’s worth of emotional baggage and more red flags than Chinese New Year bunting. How Can You Get to Know Me If I Never Stop Joking? That doesn’t always go brilliantly either. If I can’t read someone or if I sense that something’s going wrong, I’ll ask or joke that I’m digging a hole. Then I find myself reeling backward because the crowd’s eyes don’t match their smiles, or their glances go sideways around the group. In those situations, the nerves start up and I’m more likely to accidentally blurt out something inappropriate (shocker!). So I sometimes find myself coming across as a bit more cringey and awkward than I’d like to admit in the wrong circles.Īs I work to gauge boundaries, it’s inevitable that I am going to cross the line and offend someone every now and then, especially if I’m getting carried away or becoming too comfortable too quickly, or they can’t quite put their finger on me. These days, though, people aren’t sure what’s “OK” to laugh at in public and it can be hard to tell what’s authentically inappropriate. Since Brits communicate almost exclusively in subtext that often passes right by me undetected, things can get a bit tricky. You see, I can’t tell the difference between “fake laughter” and the real stuff. Sometimes, it gets me out of trouble and other times it buries me deeper in my ADHD hole. When a conversation or a situation becomes overwhelming or uncomfortable, some people with ADHD retreat I make impulsive jokes instead (for example, I made the nurse shake with laughter during my last blood test, much to my detriment). You can tell a lot about a person by what makes them laugh - or what doesn’t.īut recently it dawned on me that I also use humor as a shield - usually when I’m feeling uncomfortable, vulnerable, or a little threatened. I often use humor as an inclusive, warm tool to assess a new social audience. Telling a joke or a silly story for a few chuckles helps me to relax - and usually helps loosen up the conversation. In intimidating social situations like dates or parties, I feel most at ease when I can make someone laugh.
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